Have you ever had a vision for personal growth that really excited you? Did you love thinking about it, imagining this idealized version of yourself finally becoming real? But then, much to your chagrin, when it came time to take action you just couldn’t or wouldn’t do what was needed to bring the vision to life?
When we delight in visioning, but avoid or procrastinate taking action, we need to look within ourselves for this thing called shame. Shame is the feeling that we are not good enough. No one wants to talk about it, even though we all have it. Shame is often buried deep. We know it is present when we think these kinds of thoughts:
- I will look like a fool if I do this.
- I know this is going to fail, so why bother trying.
- I’m not really clear about what to do, so I’ll fill my time with something else instead.
- Doing this new things sucks. It’s hard. It doesn’t feel good. I’m not doing it anymore.
- I can’t do this. I don’t have enough time, budget, connections, etc.
- Yesterday these ideas felt powerful. Today they seem stupid, ineffective and wrong.
- I’m wasting my time trying this. It’s better to stick to what I know.
- I will take action when I have it all figured out in my mind. (Perfectionism.)
- I can’t stop thinking about that one time I made a mistake. I failed. I was embarrassed. What if that happens again?
High performers get great results because they consistently take action toward their goals. Consistently taking action toward your goals creates measurable results. Not taking action, procrastinating action or taking wrong action keeps us from accomplishing our goals. When we aren’t reaching our metrics or when we can’t take action, we need to ask ourselves whether shame is the hidden culprit.
Shame thrives in secrecy. When we can speak our shame to a trusted confidante, an amazing thing happens. Its grip on us begins to lift. What felt dark and murky suddenly feels clear again. What felt impossible to accomplish suddenly feels worth trying again. When shame is brought to light, a path between vision and action reappears.