Basking in the glow of maturity on the bell curve can easily become a downhill decline that is difficult to reverse. Envisioning change and successfully leading your people through it is the pathway to long term success. However, many leaders get mired in the process of growth because they do not understand the four stages of change, which are denial, resistance, exploration and acceptance. Knowing and anticipating these stages will help you avoid the four pitfalls most leaders face.
Pitfall number one: Misreading the cues of denial.
I have seen more leaders get tricked (or smile f*^%$d as some of my clients call it) by denial than I care to count. Denial is always the first stage of change. This stage is only skipped when someone jumps directly to resistance. People rarely jump directly to acceptance. However, leaders often misread the cues of denial as acceptance. This happens because denial can look so much like agreement. It looks like smiling and nodding. It carries a “yes, sir” kind of attitude. Your team may tell you, “Sure, I’ll follow up with that client! Sure, I’ll return those e-mails and implement that new process right now!” But underneath, they have no intention of changing. They are trying to avoid discomfort. They are hoping to avoid the task long enough that you forgot you asked them to do it. You will know they have moved past denial when they start communicating their resistance.
Pitfall number two: Reacting in an adversarial manner to resistance.
Resistance is often confused with failure. Leaders are often surprised to find that their teams don’t automatically love their ideas. Resistance becomes obvious when your team tells you how much they don’t love your vision. They tell you repeatedly that the the new system will not work. It is not practical. The old way is better. People tend to express their opinions in a much more emotional manner when in resistance. When strong resistance is expressed, it is often seen as an act of defiance of sabotage. However, if we shift our perceptual lens a bit, we realize that resistance is actually progress. In order to resist an idea, you have to really contemplate it and think it through, as opposed to denial which is the complete avoidance of progress. Resistance is necessary to process through new ideas and should be celebrated. It means your team is one step closer to exploring and ultimately embracing the new process, service or idea.
Pitfall number three: Stepping away before exploration leads to a positive outcome.
When adults try something new, it is stressful. Change often invokes feelings of vulnerability and fears of failure. The transition from resistance to exploration often requires a leader to say, “I understand that you are uncomfortable and you would rather stick to the old way and that is fine. But, I want you to give the new way a try. Just try it and see for yourself the outcome.” Exploration requires a guiding hand and firm accountability. Make it clear that all feelings and thoughts are welcome, but they will not change the intended path. If necessary, sit with your team and have them walk through the new process with you. Do everything you can to ensure that trying the new process leads to a positive outcome. If your team tries the new idea and find on their own that it is a better practice, they will quickly adopt the change. If however, exploration leads to a negative outcome, your team will move back to denial or resistance before giving exploration a second chance.
Pitfall number four: Forgetting to celebrate a successful change.
Once your team has accepted the change and adopted it as a regular daily practice, be sure you take time to celebrate the accomplishment. Each new experience we have builds neural pathways. Celebrating reinforces those pathways and solidifies the positive outcome in our neural network. In addition, the more we try new things, the more comfortable we become trying new things. This practice will also help your team to be more flexible with future changes and to move through the cycles more quickly.
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