If your family and your faith are your top two values, you’re doing it wrong.
Hang on. Don’t freak out. I believe that you do value your faith and your family, but those values are not specific enough to create a platform for daily leadership and decision making. What is it about your family that you value? Do you value providing for them? Do you value being present for them? What is it about your faith that you value? Do you value faith-based community service? Do you value daily prayer?
Values are not an Oscar’s speech where we quickly name off those things that have most contributed to our success. Values bring clarity to who we really are and allow us to consistently express our authentic self. Values create a road map for what we want to create in the world. Simply put, well written values provide a foundation for daily leadership and life. When we don’t have well written values, we often experience the five symptoms written about here.
To go beyond basic values and identify the type of authentic values that can drive your daily decisions, follow this five-step method:
1. Start by writing a summary statement.
First, write a summary statement that clarifies who will be included in your values. Second, clarify the outcomes you expect your values to provide. The summary statement ensures your faith and family are represented, so you can dig deeper. Here is an example:
- These five values create happiness in my life and define success with myself, my family and my work.
2. Take five minutes. Write a long list of everything you value.
Set your cell phone timer for five minutes. Just write. Don’t edit. Here is a short list of values to help get you started:
- Acknowledgement
- Competition
- Decisiveness
- Education
- Empathy
- Exhilaration
- Encouragement
- Fitness
- Giving
- Humor
- Integrity
- Justice
- Openness
- Perseverance
- Reflection
- Strength
- Trustworthiness
- Willingness
3. Edit, edit, edit – until only five values remain on your list.
Now that you have a nice, long list, it’s time to edit. As you edit your list, think about your thoughts, choices and actions over the past week. Have you worked out every day? If so, it’s likely you value health or fitness. When you watch sports, do you root for the underdog? If so, it’s possible you value perseverance. Are you the first to laugh when something goes wrong? If so, you may value humor. Editing your list gives you the opportunity to define who you are with brevity.
4. Rank order the list from one to five.
Value number one should be the most important to you. Value number five should be of lesser importance. If a decision between two competing values arises, the rank ordering will help you make the decision. For example, if you value growth more than stability, you would value an out-of-state promotion more than your family living in the same city their entire lives. While rank ordering can be challenging, the payoff is clarity and consistency with decision making.
5. Define what each value means to you.
To finalize your values, it helps to write a short sentence defining what each value means to you. The definition will give you a clear road map to actualize the value in your life. For example, if you value freedom, you might write: I value my own internal compass, the ability to be present and the freedom to live a value-based life.
Don’t be surprised if you find yourself revising your values over the course of a couple weeks. It takes time to discover who you are and what matters most to you. Next week, we will discuss how to make good, value-based decisions. If you haven’t already, sign up for the weekly insight and guidance newsletters so you don’t miss it!